Why do Narcissists Hold Sex and Affection from you? | Narcissist Withholding Sex?

It’s no secret that narcissists often hold sex and affection from their partners in a way that feels controlling and abusive. In many cases, this withholding can feel like a form of punishment. So what is going on inside the minds of these individuals? And why do they do it? To answer these questions, we’ll need to explore the concept of narcissism and its effects on relationships. Once we know more about this condition, we can start to understand why narcissists behave the way they do and what we can do to get through to them. ###

Definition of a Narcissist

What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is somebody who has an inflated sense of their importance and self-importance, which can lead to them expecting constant admiration and sexual gratification from others. This can be incredibly damaging both to the narcissist, as well as those around them.

Narcissists tend to devalue other people’s opinions, feelings, and needs. They may also be egotistical, selfish, and arrogant. In some cases, they may even be psychologically abusive or violent towards those close to them.

Why do Narcissists Hold Sex and Affection from you?
There are several reasons why a narcissist might hold onto your sex and affection. Firstly, they may view sex as something that reinforces their position of power and control over you. They may also feel that it’s one way in which they can control you – by withholding sex, they can make you more compliant or submissive.

Narcissists can also view sex as a way of humiliating or abusing you. They may see it as another way of controlling your behavior and emotions. Finally, narcissists enjoy the feeling of power that comes from being able to emotionally blackmail someone into having sex with them.

The Different Types of Narcissism

There are different types of narcissism, and each person with the disorder will have unique reasons for withholding sex or affection from you. Here are six of the most common reasons why narcissists might do this:

1. The narcissist is afraid that if they initiate sex or intimacy, you’ll become too attached to them.
2. The narcissist doesn’t think they’re worthy of being loved and wants to make sure that any physical or emotional attachments they form won’t jeopardize their grandiose view of themselves.
3. The narcissist is insecure and doesn’t feel confident enough in their skills as a lover to take the lead. 
4. The narcissist may be using sex as a way of controlling you, punishing you, or simply because they enjoy power over you sexually.
5. The narcissist may be dealing with some sort of emotional trauma – such as a past abusive relationship – which is affecting their ability to feel sexual desire or intimacy towards anyone else.
6. Finally, sometimes the lack of sexual intimacy between two people can simply be due to logistical difficulties (the narcissist is busy working all day, for example) rather than any underlying personal issues.

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How to Respond When a Narcissist Withholds Sex and Affection from You

Narcissists hold sex and affection from their partners for one primary reason: Power and control. Narcissists use sex and affection as tools to manipulate and control their partners. By withholding sex and affection, narcissists have a direct way of influencing the emotions of their partners. Narcissists also use sexual tension to keep their partners intrigued and wanting more. This makes it much harder for the partner to leave the relationship or resist the narcissist’s demands.

If you’re a victim of narcissistic withholding, there are some steps you can take to start recovering. First, recognize that this is a pattern of behavior that your partner uses to control you. Next, try to develop coping strategies for when your partner withholds sex or affection. Try not to react emotionally, but rather calmly manage the situation constructively. Finally, communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling and what needs you are having met regarding sex and affection. Show them that you want things to change, but be realistic about how difficult it may be.

Tips for Recovering From a Narcissist Withholding Sex and Affection

If you are in a relationship with a Narcissist, it can be difficult to understand why they withhold sex and affection. While there are many possible reasons, here are some tips for recovering from this type of behavior:

1. knowledge that it is happening- first and foremost, you need to recognize that the Narcissist is withholding sex and affection from you. This may feel like a huge betrayal, but it’s important to remember that the Narcissist is not consciously doing this on purpose- it’s simply how they operate.

2. understand that their actions do not mean that they love you less- while the Narcissist may be withholding sex and affection from you, this does not mean that they no longer love you. Many times their actions are motivated by fear or insecurity- they don’t want to risk losing your love or approval.

3. communicate calmly and honestly- if communication isn’t working well between you two, try communicating in a calm and levelheaded manner. Avoid getting angry or emotional; instead, focus on listening attentively and trying to understand what the Narcissist is feeling.

4. keep things as normal as possible- when things start to feel too strange or out of character for your relationship, take some time for yourself and relax into the natural flow of life again. This will help you both regain balance and perspective in your relationship

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Why do narcissists withhold intimacy?

Narcissists are commonly known to withhold sex and affection from their victims to maintain control over them. This behavior is often perceived as a way for the narcissist to stay in power. There are many reasons why narcissists may withhold sex and intimacy from their victims. Some of these reasons include:

– To maintain control over the victim: Narcissists rely on emotional abuse and manipulation to maintain control over their victims. When they withhold sex, they can keep their victims emotionally dependent on them, which gives them more power over them.

– To punish the victim: Narcissists may withhold sex as punishment for misbehavior or disobedience. This can be very punishing for the victim, who may feel like they have no choice but to comply with the narcissist’s wishes.

– To humiliate or degrade the victim: Narcissists may withhold sex as a way of humiliating or degrading their victims. By making it clear that sexual intimacy is not important to the narcissist, he/she can diminish the worth of the victim in his/her eyes.

What do you do when a narcissist withholds affection?

Narcissists withhold affection from people to maintain control over them. One way that narcissists do this is by withholding sex. Narcissists believe that withholding sex will make the person they are withholding it from feeling weaker and more submissive. Additionally, narcissists love to see their victims wear down and resent them for their lack of love. This is why it’s so important for people who are experiencing narcissistic behavior to not give up on themselves or their relationships. It may take time and patience, but eventually, the person will break through the narcissist’s defenses and receive the love and attention they crave.

Does a narcissist control sex?

Narcissists are often seen as ruthless and untrustworthy when it comes to sex. Most people believe that a narcissist would be able to control sex and affection from others, but is this the case?

A study published in “Personality and Social Psychology Review” showed that people who exhibited narcissistic traits were less likely to hold power over others sexually. They were more likely to concede or give in sexually than those who did not exhibit narcissistic traits. This suggests that while narcissists may be able to control other areas of their lives, they are not always able to control how others perceive them or their sexual interactions with others.

While a narcissist may be able to withhold sex at times, this does not mean they have total control over your body or your emotions. It’s important to remember that you cannot please a narcissist all the time, and you should never allow yourself to be controlled by them emotionally or sexually. If you feel like your relationship with a narcissist is taking a turn for the worse, it’s important to seek out help from a therapist or counselor who can offer guidance on how to break free from this type of relationship.

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Do narcissists like physical intimacy?

Narcissists often use physical intimacy as a way to control and manipulate their victims. This is why they may withhold sex or other forms of physical affection from you. Narcissists believe that withholding sex or other forms of physical intimacy will make you feel loved and appreciated, and it will keep you from developing attachments elsewhere. However, this tactic can also have the opposite effect, leading to feelings of abandonment and frustration on your part. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to understand how he or she operates and what his or her motivations are for withholding physical intimacy.


There are a few possible reasons why narcissists might withhold sex and affection from their victims. They might believe that sex is only for the primary relationship partner and that they do not deserve to be sexualized or loved in the same way as the primary partner. Alternatively, they may view intimacy as a source of control over their victim, which could lead them to withhold sex to maintain power over their victim. In any case, it is important to understand what narcissistic behavior looks like so that you can identify it in your relationships and start moving toward healing.

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